More from Tom Billings: Table of Contents for October Issue of Scientific ‘Merican Your Source for Science that Aligns with Your Beliefsmedium.com Don’t Let a Flaccid Flagpole Spoil that Special Moment Expressing your political views can be a real riot!medium.com

Your Source for Science that Aligns with Your Beliefs — TECHNOLOGY 7 Somethin’ Ain’t Right — Our Tech editor recommends five inexpensive drones for monitoring neighbors who don’t display a flag. MATERIALS SCIENCE 11 White Trash My Ass — Food snobs often view ketchup derisively but its non-Newtonian behavior makes it the ideal substance for liquid armor suits. ENERGY 13 Miner or Whiner? —…

Kremlin Ramps-Up Efforts to Contain Outbreak of Political Dissent — The Russian Ministry of Health is pleased to announce that a second dose of Novichok nerve agent has been approved for use. This follows successful completion of a trial to determine the efficacy of a second dose on patients surviving their first dose. Trial participants included 237 political detainees aged…

Just in time for China’s Valentine’s Day! — Sung to the tune of Elvis Costello’s She. Xi may pose an existential threat And hold the bulk of US debt And take great pleasure in propping up Huawei Xi may flex his muscle out at sea Manipulate the RMB Dump exports for next to free Within the measure of…

Kavanaugh sets stage for overturning Jack — 1st Draft SUPREME COURT OF THE UNITED STATES № 867–5309 GREG ABBOTT, GOVERNOR OF TEXAS, ET AL., PETITIONERS v. AUSTIN TAXI, ET AL. ON WRIT OF CACCIATORE TO THE UNITED STATES COURT OF APPEALS FOR THE FIFTH CIRCUIT [July __, 2022] JUSTICE KAVANAUGH delivered the opinion of the Court. The…

Conchita’s had enough! — Hola! Conchita here! You may know me from those Colombian coffee commercials. I’m sure you’ve seen Juan Valdez. Well, I’m his mula. Or at least I used to be. But that’s over now. Sometimes I wonder why I ever loved him. The man’s a fucking diva. He always hogs the…

They’re at the far end of right, where the winds of change blow, and they dream of mid-terms and turning back Roe — In an effort to counter the recent onslaught of progressive books aimed at indoctrinating children, the GOP is launching its own re-write of some popular Dr. Seuss titles. The new books include: Hop on Cop This great bedtime read teaches young and old alike about the leftist conspiracy to de-fund…

SAN ANGELO (AP) — Male sheep from across the US gathered in San Angelo, Texas, on Thursday, in what is being called the largest herd to descend upon the city in recent memory. San Angelo is widely known for its elaborately decorated sheep statues. The rams came to protest a…

More from Tom Billings: